Good morning to whoever's reading my blog right now, which i assume, no one is. It's been such a long time since I last updated this thing. Now I suddenly feel like expressing how I feel. I don't think I can do it to someone else. I really feel like crap right now. I do.
I broke up with the boy many weeks ago. And the reason is, I felt like we were drifting apart from each other. He was rarely talking to me. We don't meet anymore. And I was too busy meeting new people in school. That's why I am scared. Guys from new school, talking to me and all, honestly, I felt I was betraying him by doing that. Futhermore, at that point of time, I felt that I needed my own freedom just like how I used to have when I was single. I don't know what the fuck was wrong with me. I thought I could easily move on, get over him and US. But no I am so wrong. It just aches me to see him so happy without me. He said he'd wait for me no matter what and that he still loves me but his actions shows otherwise. He rarely replies me when i text him. Or if he does, it's just a few words or one word replies. I wonder if he's already over me? I wonder if he's falling for someone else? But why..? You promised me, Nazif. It just makes me sad. The heartaches are never ending. I still love him.. So so much.. No matter how hard I try to get him out of my mind, I can't. And I really have to wake up to reality. Talking to other guys and even going out with them, isn't helping. I really want him back so bad. I just feel like i'm annoying him everytime I try to talk. Why are you doing this to me?
I know i shouldn't have listened to my friends even though they're my best friends. I know i shouldn't but i did. I am so stupid. I should have listened to my heart.
Right now, I really don't know how long it'll take me to get over us. The memories are just too precious. We were close to 8 months and I was such a fool to let it go. I'm so stupid, aren't i? I was the one who wanted this to end and now i'm regretting it.
16 June 2010. I will never forget. Never will. How our relationship was supposed to be fake but turns out that we really developed feelings for each other.
Ok I must stop being an emotional wreck. Ya Allah, please help me get over this.
