the date

Good morning to whoever's reading my blog right now, which i assume, no one is. It's been such a long time since I last updated this thing. Now I suddenly feel like expressing how I feel. I don't think I can do it to someone else. I really feel like crap right now. I do.

I broke up with the boy many weeks ago. And the reason is, I felt like we were drifting apart from each other. He was rarely talking to me. We don't meet anymore. And I was too busy meeting new people in school. That's why I am scared. Guys from new school, talking to me and all, honestly, I felt I was betraying him by doing that. Futhermore, at that point of time, I felt that I needed my own freedom just like how I used to have when I was single. I don't know what the fuck was wrong with me. I thought I could easily move on, get over him and US. But no I am so wrong. It just aches me to see him so happy without me. He said he'd wait for me no matter what and that he still loves me but his actions shows otherwise. He rarely replies me when i text him. Or if he does, it's just a few words or one word replies. I wonder if he's already over me? I wonder if he's falling for someone else? But why..? You promised me, Nazif. It just makes me sad. The heartaches are never ending. I still love him.. So so much.. No matter how hard I try to get him out of my mind, I can't. And I really have to wake up to reality. Talking to other guys and even going out with them, isn't helping. I really want him back so bad. I just feel like i'm annoying him everytime I try to talk. Why are you doing this to me?

I know i shouldn't have listened to my friends even though they're my best friends. I know i shouldn't but i did. I am so stupid. I should have listened to my heart.
Right now, I really don't know how long it'll take me to get over us. The memories are just too precious. We were close to 8 months and I was such a fool to let it go. I'm so stupid, aren't i? I was the one who wanted this to end and now i'm regretting it.


Heh our first ever picture taken together. I still remember this day. I was so shy to talk to you. And we had our first kiss when it was raining..

16 June 2010. I will never forget. Never will. How our relationship was supposed to be fake but turns out that we really developed feelings for each other.

Ok I must stop being an emotional wreck. Ya Allah, please help me get over this.

hai

Back to update my dear blog. How's life for me? Always been fine despite its ups and downs with the presence of my one and only boyfriend and not forgetting my beloved girlfriends. I know I can rely on them whenever I need them. Always. What bout school? *rolls eyes* Exceptionally boring! Especially when lessons are replaced with other subjects. But overall, it's not that bad.. At least I still end up doing some self-revision :P

So Raf and Arina's over at my place now.. Standard. My place's the place for them to use computer/laptop/iphone. So yeaaaaaaah. Hahahahaha. I'm missing baby badly.. He's going to Malaysia already... ): I hope he enjoys there. Hmmmm...

N levels resuming in like 2 weeks or maybe less and i've not started studying at ALL. Hah, good job Allysa. Really... -.- Rebonding my hair tomorrow! Uh gotta get rid of this wavy-ness. So the length of my hair will magically grow tomorrow. woot woot.

ooh yeah selamat hari raya

this was taken during baby's open house today.. and i really like this shot cos me and baby looks perfect. just like a happy married couple ♥

Soo.. hey blog. Sorry i'm late but Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to all muslims. First day was kinda boring but still interesting. Went to cik leha's house in the afternoon then aunty ita called asking me to join her family. So dad sent me to one of her relatives' house in cck. I was greeted by literally everyone there! Like boomz! o.O I got comments like "eh dah besar lah dia!" "eh lawar nye" "dah ade boyfriend blom?" As usual, i responded to all of these with a smile (: I remembered acting like a total shy bitch when a group of kids (obviously younger than me lah) came over to talk to me. HAAHAHA what even.. I'm so ashamed of myself. We talked for awhile... I had to put up with their lame conversations, I swear. They asked me to tag along with them to take the van. So at first i was like -.o then i was like O.O!!! Finally opened up and joked around with everyone there.. Oooh i'm such a shy gal ahahahaha

Second day (yesterday) was hell tiring. I slept over at aunty ita's place the night before and had to wake up really early. Mum brought my clothes over and i had to rush. Just imagine.. going from house to house since morning?! I think we went to around 7 houses? And the weather was really fucked up as well.. Really? Plus, i must have gained alot alot alot of pounds. Every house served us food. How could we turn it down? Perut aku pon dah berbabat dah boncet ni sekarang ): I have to work out real soon. It's been soooo long. ok that's besides the point.. Yesterday's money collection was really huge! Mega boomz! I'm rich now hehehe.

Today i went to baby's open house!!!! I met his parents which are my future in-laws. Hahahaha someday kay sayang? Ate the nasi briyani that his mom cooked. Sedap sedap plus pedas! I like! Okay so had fun. Not including the part where my heels almost killed my legs. We had to walk quite a distance to the airport runway or whtever it is where we can see the airplanes taking off.. Baby was being sweet to lend me his slippers :P so yeah. Both of us were sweating like shit. Arina and the others werent
even sweating lah -_________-

okay gtg!!!!!!!!!

So it's already the 4th of September. Time really flies, huh? Just 2 more days to my birthday and the start of N levels. I'm really, really, really not giving a flying fuck that it's my birthday in 2 days. I'm only giving a fuck that I'll be sitting for my first paper. My revision for social studies is not even going well. Not even close. But fortunately I got back my mood and motivation to study. Wrong timing, however. -.- Gonna continue tomorrow morning.

Chapters i wanna cover by tomorrow:
-bonding singapore
-conflict in sri lanka & northern ireland
-deterrence and diplomacy

and a little on sustaining.....bla3 (i forgot the chapter) but it's the one on globalisation. ahahahaha.

Oh by the way, i'm such an emotional wreck. I need to stop being so damn emotional about every single thing. Can I?

goodnight, ♥

Happy sixteenth, sayang ♥

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to my sayang, happy birthday to you!!! Hope you like what I made for you even though I gotta admit that my artistic skills sucks. Love you so darn much ♥ Enjoy your day sweeeetheart. Missing you :)

“When in the midst of a fight, he is yelling at you and you are yelling at him, when you want to stop and just ask if you can forget everything and stop fighting for such a stupid reason, when he is still mad and you say “ok, i'm tired” and walk away with tears in your eyes, thinking that its pretty much over, he pulls you back sees the tears in your eyes, then pulls you towards him and just holds you and tells you to stop crying and says “dont worry about it, please stop crying,its my fault,please dont cry” then pulls you towards him again holds your face and wipes away your tears and again asks you again to stop crying as he kisses the side of your head. Even when he still believes you are in the wrong and he is right, nothing else matters because you are crying and he hates to see you hurt. He whispers i love you before he pulls you back and holds you one more time and just as your about to leave you give him a quick kiss to say i love you too … that’s love.”

THIS IS TOTALLY... relevant. Heh. That's what sayang did that day at Geylang.