Happy sixteenth, sayang ♥

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to my sayang, happy birthday to you!!! Hope you like what I made for you even though I gotta admit that my artistic skills sucks. Love you so darn much ♥ Enjoy your day sweeeetheart. Missing you :)

“When in the midst of a fight, he is yelling at you and you are yelling at him, when you want to stop and just ask if you can forget everything and stop fighting for such a stupid reason, when he is still mad and you say “ok, i'm tired” and walk away with tears in your eyes, thinking that its pretty much over, he pulls you back sees the tears in your eyes, then pulls you towards him and just holds you and tells you to stop crying and says “dont worry about it, please stop crying,its my fault,please dont cry” then pulls you towards him again holds your face and wipes away your tears and again asks you again to stop crying as he kisses the side of your head. Even when he still believes you are in the wrong and he is right, nothing else matters because you are crying and he hates to see you hurt. He whispers i love you before he pulls you back and holds you one more time and just as your about to leave you give him a quick kiss to say i love you too … that’s love.”

THIS IS TOTALLY... relevant. Heh. That's what sayang did that day at Geylang.

thank you

I can write a whole essay on how fucking betrayed, hurt and sad I feel. But I won't. I won't waste my time dwelling over this matter. Or, what a jerk you guys have been. I'm just gonna ignore and try to forget about it no matter how difficult it is. What's difficult? Trying to erase memories. The time all of us spent together. Hah, I know I was so darn stupid to have placed my trust on you guys. So much for it.. Wait. Karma is such a bitch and it will hit on you someday. Thanks for using me. We'll end it here. Wait, you guys probably ended it first.

dedicated to: 2 best girls

Hai girls, you don't know how much I love you ♥

Thanks for sticking me with me for almost 4 years. I treasure you girls like jkshW&(ty8WU*&tW279t37!!! See, no words can explain how much I love you. Thanks for lending me your ears when I'm in need of letting out my feelings, my problems, my rants. Thanks for sticking with me through thick and thin, despite the fights and differences that we've had. Thanks for not leaving me in the lurch when I was drunk. (i won't forget this ok) Not forgetting those words of advice you've given me whenever I had problems. Last of all, thanks for the crazy times together! Keep on going, hehehe. May we be girlfriends till the end of time <33333333

life

My heart just feels too heavy to bear with what i'm feeling now- crying it all out. I know I've always been this weak girl, who can't control her emotions. It just takes a little heartache to make me cry. I hate the way I am. Am trying to be strong. Trying to make a change. But I feel miserable instead. I've caused him to get into fights with his friends and it's because of me. I feel like i'm the cause of everything that has happened and I don't want him to break friendships cos of me. Sometimes I wonder if i'm good enough for him. I just don't wanna be the reason for his heartaches anymore. Sometimes I wonder if he deserves someone better than me. But i can't and will never let him go.

I feel like no one really understands how i feel. I can't voice it out in fear that i'll be ignored. For now, I'll just take all of these in and be strong. Who wants to lose a friend whom she or he has known for years? But yeah at the same time, it ain't that easy to seek his forgiveness or gain back his trust anymore. I really miss those times.

happy 2nd month baby

I love you so much sayang hehehe ♥

I'm sorry I've caused you so many heartaches, I've sorry I for causing tears in your eyes, I'm sorry if I've made you lose my trust for me.. I promise to change. I'll try to understand you. I love you so much baby. Thanks for understanding me all these while. Mwah mwah! See ya later cute ass.

love

Good morning! I'm feeling a little more than happy today. I don't care if i didn't have enough sleep cos I woke up feeling happy! Hahahaha okay.. enough. I was on the phone with baby last night. I missssss him so much can? He kept giving me i love you's and i miss yous. I wanted to give him a hug that instant but no i can't hahahaha. He's so darn cute please. He imagined the bolster next to him was me and hugged it :) Muah muah. Love you so much!

So yeh, anyway, Happy birthday Singapore! (even though i don't really give a shit)

Okay i think i'm gonna be late if i don't go shower now. Meeting baby later for a movie treat. I'm actually kinda surprised :P Then meeting up with my favourites after that.

love, me.

i fell in love with you once more

I am such a happy girl today. I swear I am. So so happy. Wanna know why? Cos I got to spend time baby today. And now I'm already starting to miss him. Had fun bullying him hehehe. Love you so much baby ♥

Okay that's on the bright side of life. On the darker side of life, I got into trouble with mom. I messaged her saying exactly how I felt at that point of time and... I ended up with a phone call that lasted 15 minutes, filled with nagging. Well I should've known I wasted my time sending that message. I thought that you'll at least understand. But i thought wrong. I know i was in the wrong. I lied to you. I wounldn't have if you understand me. Stop using the past as an excuse mom, seriously.. Ok i'm done with this. I just gotta prepare for the worse later when she comes back from work.

Alright, I think I'm turning in early tonight. Madrasah tomorrow -.-

a heart this heavy

I hate this feeling. This feeling of fighting with you. The feeling I get when you talk to me in a cold manner. I've got so much that I wanna say but I can't. Words can't even express how I feel. You may say that this is cliche , I don't care. We know we are sick and tired of these. I'm sorry if I seem to be the bitch here. I'm sorry if you think I don't care. Last of all, I'm sorry if you think the girl you once fell in love with isn't what I am now at all.

I still love you. And i can't stop thinking bout this.

I can't wait till our second month. 10 more days.

Love, me.

friend? hah who?

I think I just lost a friend of mine. Cos of what reason? Cos of my own FRIEND, betraying me. I don't know who but I know for sure not to trust people that easily now. Thank you so much, whoever you are.

I've got enough problems on my hands already. I don't need anymore of these shits. Okay whatever, I just need N levels to be done and over with quickly. But fuck my life at this moment cos because of this matter, i don't think i can put my mind into studying. sad.