hold on, allysa

“‘I love you’ means that I accept you for the person that you are, and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I do not expect perfection from you, just as you do not expect it from me. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. It means loving you when you’re in a bad mood or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you’re down, not just when you’re fun to be with. ‘I love you’ means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return only that you do not judge me for mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love enough not to let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, hoping that you feel the same way for me.”



So I cried like a mad bitch today. Fought with whom I call my boyfriend, again. I don't know how many times we've had an argument for the past week. I don't know where the problem lies and i don't know if we are fighting because of big issues. I know you're jealous and it seemed to be a good thing to know at first. But now? I don't know... Maybe a little too paranoid. A little too jealous? Come on, what can I do if those guys add me on Facebook? And it's not as if I am FLIRTING with them, damn it. It just hurts me so fucking much when you talked to me with those harsh words. Who am I? And now you're telling me you are having doubts about me loving you. Bullshit, I say. You said I can entertain those people for all I want. You're saying it like as if I don't fucking entertain you. Uh? I got so pissed. Everything you've said today really tells how much you trust me. "Only god knows how you really feel." Wow, just wow ok? This is pointless.

Simply said, I'm so fucking hurt. Whatever. Shows how much I love you, sucker. :(

You can actually go to sleep huh. While I, on the other hand, can't go to sleep when we are not even on good talking terms.

Okay wtf, I guess this post seems really.... emotional. May be the first post of all posts. Hah okay nite. I really do love you, Nazif. (as if he's reading this -.-)