hai

Back to update my dear blog. How's life for me? Always been fine despite its ups and downs with the presence of my one and only boyfriend and not forgetting my beloved girlfriends. I know I can rely on them whenever I need them. Always. What bout school? *rolls eyes* Exceptionally boring! Especially when lessons are replaced with other subjects. But overall, it's not that bad.. At least I still end up doing some self-revision :P

So Raf and Arina's over at my place now.. Standard. My place's the place for them to use computer/laptop/iphone. So yeaaaaaaah. Hahahahaha. I'm missing baby badly.. He's going to Malaysia already... ): I hope he enjoys there. Hmmmm...

N levels resuming in like 2 weeks or maybe less and i've not started studying at ALL. Hah, good job Allysa. Really... -.- Rebonding my hair tomorrow! Uh gotta get rid of this wavy-ness. So the length of my hair will magically grow tomorrow. woot woot.

ooh yeah selamat hari raya

this was taken during baby's open house today.. and i really like this shot cos me and baby looks perfect. just like a happy married couple ♥

Soo.. hey blog. Sorry i'm late but Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to all muslims. First day was kinda boring but still interesting. Went to cik leha's house in the afternoon then aunty ita called asking me to join her family. So dad sent me to one of her relatives' house in cck. I was greeted by literally everyone there! Like boomz! o.O I got comments like "eh dah besar lah dia!" "eh lawar nye" "dah ade boyfriend blom?" As usual, i responded to all of these with a smile (: I remembered acting like a total shy bitch when a group of kids (obviously younger than me lah) came over to talk to me. HAAHAHA what even.. I'm so ashamed of myself. We talked for awhile... I had to put up with their lame conversations, I swear. They asked me to tag along with them to take the van. So at first i was like -.o then i was like O.O!!! Finally opened up and joked around with everyone there.. Oooh i'm such a shy gal ahahahaha

Second day (yesterday) was hell tiring. I slept over at aunty ita's place the night before and had to wake up really early. Mum brought my clothes over and i had to rush. Just imagine.. going from house to house since morning?! I think we went to around 7 houses? And the weather was really fucked up as well.. Really? Plus, i must have gained alot alot alot of pounds. Every house served us food. How could we turn it down? Perut aku pon dah berbabat dah boncet ni sekarang ): I have to work out real soon. It's been soooo long. ok that's besides the point.. Yesterday's money collection was really huge! Mega boomz! I'm rich now hehehe.

Today i went to baby's open house!!!! I met his parents which are my future in-laws. Hahahaha someday kay sayang? Ate the nasi briyani that his mom cooked. Sedap sedap plus pedas! I like! Okay so had fun. Not including the part where my heels almost killed my legs. We had to walk quite a distance to the airport runway or whtever it is where we can see the airplanes taking off.. Baby was being sweet to lend me his slippers :P so yeah. Both of us were sweating like shit. Arina and the others werent
even sweating lah -_________-

okay gtg!!!!!!!!!

So it's already the 4th of September. Time really flies, huh? Just 2 more days to my birthday and the start of N levels. I'm really, really, really not giving a flying fuck that it's my birthday in 2 days. I'm only giving a fuck that I'll be sitting for my first paper. My revision for social studies is not even going well. Not even close. But fortunately I got back my mood and motivation to study. Wrong timing, however. -.- Gonna continue tomorrow morning.

Chapters i wanna cover by tomorrow:
-bonding singapore
-conflict in sri lanka & northern ireland
-deterrence and diplomacy

and a little on sustaining.....bla3 (i forgot the chapter) but it's the one on globalisation. ahahahaha.

Oh by the way, i'm such an emotional wreck. I need to stop being so damn emotional about every single thing. Can I?

goodnight, ♥

Happy sixteenth, sayang ♥

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to my sayang, happy birthday to you!!! Hope you like what I made for you even though I gotta admit that my artistic skills sucks. Love you so darn much ♥ Enjoy your day sweeeetheart. Missing you :)

“When in the midst of a fight, he is yelling at you and you are yelling at him, when you want to stop and just ask if you can forget everything and stop fighting for such a stupid reason, when he is still mad and you say “ok, i'm tired” and walk away with tears in your eyes, thinking that its pretty much over, he pulls you back sees the tears in your eyes, then pulls you towards him and just holds you and tells you to stop crying and says “dont worry about it, please stop crying,its my fault,please dont cry” then pulls you towards him again holds your face and wipes away your tears and again asks you again to stop crying as he kisses the side of your head. Even when he still believes you are in the wrong and he is right, nothing else matters because you are crying and he hates to see you hurt. He whispers i love you before he pulls you back and holds you one more time and just as your about to leave you give him a quick kiss to say i love you too … that’s love.”

THIS IS TOTALLY... relevant. Heh. That's what sayang did that day at Geylang.

thank you

I can write a whole essay on how fucking betrayed, hurt and sad I feel. But I won't. I won't waste my time dwelling over this matter. Or, what a jerk you guys have been. I'm just gonna ignore and try to forget about it no matter how difficult it is. What's difficult? Trying to erase memories. The time all of us spent together. Hah, I know I was so darn stupid to have placed my trust on you guys. So much for it.. Wait. Karma is such a bitch and it will hit on you someday. Thanks for using me. We'll end it here. Wait, you guys probably ended it first.

dedicated to: 2 best girls

Hai girls, you don't know how much I love you ♥

Thanks for sticking me with me for almost 4 years. I treasure you girls like jkshW&(ty8WU*&tW279t37!!! See, no words can explain how much I love you. Thanks for lending me your ears when I'm in need of letting out my feelings, my problems, my rants. Thanks for sticking with me through thick and thin, despite the fights and differences that we've had. Thanks for not leaving me in the lurch when I was drunk. (i won't forget this ok) Not forgetting those words of advice you've given me whenever I had problems. Last of all, thanks for the crazy times together! Keep on going, hehehe. May we be girlfriends till the end of time <33333333

life

My heart just feels too heavy to bear with what i'm feeling now- crying it all out. I know I've always been this weak girl, who can't control her emotions. It just takes a little heartache to make me cry. I hate the way I am. Am trying to be strong. Trying to make a change. But I feel miserable instead. I've caused him to get into fights with his friends and it's because of me. I feel like i'm the cause of everything that has happened and I don't want him to break friendships cos of me. Sometimes I wonder if i'm good enough for him. I just don't wanna be the reason for his heartaches anymore. Sometimes I wonder if he deserves someone better than me. But i can't and will never let him go.

I feel like no one really understands how i feel. I can't voice it out in fear that i'll be ignored. For now, I'll just take all of these in and be strong. Who wants to lose a friend whom she or he has known for years? But yeah at the same time, it ain't that easy to seek his forgiveness or gain back his trust anymore. I really miss those times.

happy 2nd month baby

I love you so much sayang hehehe ♥

I'm sorry I've caused you so many heartaches, I've sorry I for causing tears in your eyes, I'm sorry if I've made you lose my trust for me.. I promise to change. I'll try to understand you. I love you so much baby. Thanks for understanding me all these while. Mwah mwah! See ya later cute ass.

love

Good morning! I'm feeling a little more than happy today. I don't care if i didn't have enough sleep cos I woke up feeling happy! Hahahaha okay.. enough. I was on the phone with baby last night. I missssss him so much can? He kept giving me i love you's and i miss yous. I wanted to give him a hug that instant but no i can't hahahaha. He's so darn cute please. He imagined the bolster next to him was me and hugged it :) Muah muah. Love you so much!

So yeh, anyway, Happy birthday Singapore! (even though i don't really give a shit)

Okay i think i'm gonna be late if i don't go shower now. Meeting baby later for a movie treat. I'm actually kinda surprised :P Then meeting up with my favourites after that.

love, me.

i fell in love with you once more

I am such a happy girl today. I swear I am. So so happy. Wanna know why? Cos I got to spend time baby today. And now I'm already starting to miss him. Had fun bullying him hehehe. Love you so much baby ♥

Okay that's on the bright side of life. On the darker side of life, I got into trouble with mom. I messaged her saying exactly how I felt at that point of time and... I ended up with a phone call that lasted 15 minutes, filled with nagging. Well I should've known I wasted my time sending that message. I thought that you'll at least understand. But i thought wrong. I know i was in the wrong. I lied to you. I wounldn't have if you understand me. Stop using the past as an excuse mom, seriously.. Ok i'm done with this. I just gotta prepare for the worse later when she comes back from work.

Alright, I think I'm turning in early tonight. Madrasah tomorrow -.-

a heart this heavy

I hate this feeling. This feeling of fighting with you. The feeling I get when you talk to me in a cold manner. I've got so much that I wanna say but I can't. Words can't even express how I feel. You may say that this is cliche , I don't care. We know we are sick and tired of these. I'm sorry if I seem to be the bitch here. I'm sorry if you think I don't care. Last of all, I'm sorry if you think the girl you once fell in love with isn't what I am now at all.

I still love you. And i can't stop thinking bout this.

I can't wait till our second month. 10 more days.

Love, me.

friend? hah who?

I think I just lost a friend of mine. Cos of what reason? Cos of my own FRIEND, betraying me. I don't know who but I know for sure not to trust people that easily now. Thank you so much, whoever you are.

I've got enough problems on my hands already. I don't need anymore of these shits. Okay whatever, I just need N levels to be done and over with quickly. But fuck my life at this moment cos because of this matter, i don't think i can put my mind into studying. sad.

aku rindu dia

Happy Saturday to all of the people out there. It's not gonna be a happy one for me since prelims starts in two days. I'm not confident in passing them. Last minute notes, last minute revision, what can I expect from it? Uh whatever, I'll try to study as much as I can. Gonna start today. I don't care whether it's gonna be in the afternoon or at night, whenever, as long as I get something in to my head.

Baby asked me to tag along with him to his friend's birthday BBQ pit at Pasir Ris. I wanna go, i wanna meeeeeet him, but after thinking twice, I don't think so? I'd be wasting my time asking Mum cause obviously her answer will be NO. If I were to just sneak out of the house, I'd be in deep shit again. Sorry baby, have fun alright. Miss you, ass.

Ok, another weekend wasted. Wait, how many weekends have I wasted, rotting at home? Hahahahahaha countless. Maybe not but whatever it feels like sooooooooo long. It's almost three and I've not showered. Perangai well done!!!! Mcm nak tido pon ade :)

hold on, allysa

“‘I love you’ means that I accept you for the person that you are, and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I do not expect perfection from you, just as you do not expect it from me. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. It means loving you when you’re in a bad mood or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you’re down, not just when you’re fun to be with. ‘I love you’ means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return only that you do not judge me for mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love enough not to let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, hoping that you feel the same way for me.”



So I cried like a mad bitch today. Fought with whom I call my boyfriend, again. I don't know how many times we've had an argument for the past week. I don't know where the problem lies and i don't know if we are fighting because of big issues. I know you're jealous and it seemed to be a good thing to know at first. But now? I don't know... Maybe a little too paranoid. A little too jealous? Come on, what can I do if those guys add me on Facebook? And it's not as if I am FLIRTING with them, damn it. It just hurts me so fucking much when you talked to me with those harsh words. Who am I? And now you're telling me you are having doubts about me loving you. Bullshit, I say. You said I can entertain those people for all I want. You're saying it like as if I don't fucking entertain you. Uh? I got so pissed. Everything you've said today really tells how much you trust me. "Only god knows how you really feel." Wow, just wow ok? This is pointless.

Simply said, I'm so fucking hurt. Whatever. Shows how much I love you, sucker. :(

You can actually go to sleep huh. While I, on the other hand, can't go to sleep when we are not even on good talking terms.

Okay wtf, I guess this post seems really.... emotional. May be the first post of all posts. Hah okay nite. I really do love you, Nazif. (as if he's reading this -.-)

Hey. Weekends might as well don't exist. They pass by real fast. Fuckin' fast. I haven't been good these days. Bitchfits and mood swings with boyfriend, friends bla bla bla. I'm so sorry. I guess my period's on its way. But you know, fuck it. Sometimes I can't help it. Maybe I think too much or whatever it is. Insecurites are eating me up. Ughhhhhhhh.

I'm still thinking if I'm ready for a... relationship. I love him so much but then.. there are still issues. Maybe the problem lies with me. Oh fml~

Oh anyways, went to watch Inception with baby yesterday. Actually we were stucked on whether we should watch Eclipse or Inception. We kept arguing bout it. So he told me he felt like watching inception so I told him, we'll go ahead with it. The outcome: I tried to fight my sleepyness -.- Almost fell asleep. Lied to baby HAH. He regrets watching it too :P

School again tomorrow :( I think I have to start going for night classes again.

weee

SYG KORANG AH BABI :)



I'm so sleepy. School has been really tiring.... Today's the 16th. HAPPY 1ST MONTHSARY, BABY ♥ Love you.

K dah bye. HAHAHAHAHA!

Oh, prelims are coming. SO EXCITED.

hey ho

It's me updating my blog. Yo yo what's up? Hahahahahaha. Fuck, I've been such a lazy ass! But not really. I've been so busy with school and night studies for the past week. It's like I have no life. What to do right? Prelims are just around the corner. Suffer now. Enjoy later *winks*

Met Baby yesterday. And Friday. It's becoming a routine to meet him on these 2 days every week. But next week is a must. (I HOPE) Heh heh. 5 more days to our first month. Which is on a Friday. Coincidental much? Love you so much, horny fucker :P

Ok... So today was the first day of my religious class. It sucked. I think I'm the oldest there. Plus, I didn't even talk to any of them -.- HAHA anti social much.

Back to school tomorrow! Zzzzzzz. I wanna watch tonight's match! SPAIN IS GONNA WIN!!!!!!!!!!!

XOXO.

Hi I'm back to blog again. So last Monday was the pit. Had my fun. Had my suffering too. Mum found out I drank. Of course I suffered for a little bit.
School's back on Monday!!!!!!!! OH damn it. June holidays felt so short! But I can't stand it any longer staying at home already. So yeah...

My boyfriend's so cute, I can't stand it. hehehehehehe.

oh how are you, darling?

Hahahaha oh my god, it's been ages since I last updated my blog!!!! Sorry my dear blog, for forgetting you. Hell yeah, I'm so darn lazy to update. So my computer's sent for repair and they told us we can have it back within 3 days but it's been almost a week and still no call!!!!! To hell with it cause now I have a laptop!!! A shared laptop with Mumsy -.-

Ok how's your holidays? Mine sure sucked as hell. 3 weeks of going to school isn't cool. I've done absolutely NOTHING that has to do with my studies. Hahahaha stupid N Levels.

Oh yea 1 more week and we're back to school. So freaking fast.

Anyways, I love N. Hehehehehehe you never fail to make me smile. Love you lots baby ♥ To Nis, rindu kau. Dah sombong!!!!! :(

Faidz's/Shafawi's pit on Monday. See you guys who're coming!

rindu

Do you know how much it sucks to have a freaking sore throat, a fever and backaches? It sucks real bad ok! Haahahaha. So i went to pasir ris earlier to take back my camera from Arina. Felt really tired =/ While waiting for her, a few guys from afar kept calling me. I ignored. They came over....and one of them asked for my number. He's a guy full of tattoos pls! HAHA. Ok -_____- His friends are hot but not him.

I miss baby :( Hehehe

gi mampos!

I feel like i'm used by people. Just because i'm nice, doesn't mean you can step all over me _|_ No mood. Dah uh, handphone korang smue korg bole buang kay hahahahahahaahah yes, i'm pissed at myself. (case mengamuk sendiri) and nah, it's nothing big. but still!!!!! korang bole gi mampos bye kanina

i can't believe...

Hi hi, I'm back to update this. I'm super tired right now. Was out since morning. Skipped school, intentionally. HAHA. Ooops. Guess what? I haven't showed my results slip to my parents. Well well, maybe after the june holidays?

Okay. So woke up around 7.30 and went over to Raf's place. Bby suddenly texted me saying that we're going to Sentosa today so yeah. Lazed around at Raf's crib for a few hours and then left for Bukit Batok. Kinda pissed that b didn't reply. Turned out that he fell asleep and heh, he was sick. Went over to his place to chill. SENTOSA = CANCEL.

Hmm so, left his place around 5 plus and trained to City Hall to meet Raf and Arina. Talked about many stuffs. Hahahahaha hell yeah, I'm broke now. So fucking pathetic.

Should I be happy that june holidays are here?
Fuck no. School will still come back to haunt me.
-.-

PICTURES:

TWEET TWEET -_______-

iloveyou

COS I LOOK LIKE SHIT YO! HAHAHAHAHAHA





Went to watch Shrek @ Jurong Point yesterday. Then spent time with him. Heheehehehe, I'm happy :)

OKAY END OF POST!

i love bio

MY NIECE, PATRICE ♥

Lovely little baby. I miss her, heheh. Okay so tomorrow's the last paper. I so can't fucking wait! Gonna enjoy like HELL after exams. Literally. Maths Paper 1 and 2 = total disaster. There's not even a need to wait for the results, I'll fail for sure. I'm hoping that it'll be the only subject that I'll fail but oh well. I DON'T THINK SO HAHAHAAH.

Last weekend, I went to town with Raf and Nis for a movie. Went to cineleisure first to book the tickets but it was sold out. Nvm, and so I went to buy some pieces of lingerie with the vouchers. And i love Pierre Cardin. Favourite brand! Anyways, after that, we had to rush to cathay. But the tickets for The Last Song was sold out. Then we had to rush again to Plaza Singupura's Golden Village. We thought we had gotten the tickets but it turned out that we got tickets for The Losers -____-
HAHA! Damn it. The movie turned out good, surprisingly. So yeah. (delayed)

I wanted to go to sleep a few hours ago. Now it's 6pm already! Okay maybe a short nap. Will study Bio when I wake up. Till here, good luck classmates/schoolmates/friends :)

weekends, i missed you!

Mission failed. We didn't study Maths. Thanks to Nis and Ihsan, for bringing ther laptops. Appreciate it, NOT. HAHA!

So one more week to endure with and mid year will be over! English paper 2 was cocked up. Wait, paper 1 was not even that easy. If I fail, i'll cry -_- Maths paper on Monday. Not started revising. Well wellllllll, all the best, Allysa.

Okay I'm gonna have my lunch now. Out with Raf, Nis and Ihsan later to town. Watching The Last Song :)

what?!

Hi I overslept today. And then now I'm like having a fucking flu! Fuck my life. Mum's coming home in a couple of hours. I'm going to the airport. Craving for something cold and sweet. Hahahahaha my life's in a mess.

ga ga ga

It's 3.30 in the morning and I'm not asleep. I think i'm going to bed in awhile. Been sooooooo lazy to update my blog! Hehe. By the way, I bought a hula hoop from a pasar malam. YAY! Ok so happy belated mothers day. Mum's coming back on Tuesday :)

Finally topped up my prepaid card. How long will it last this time? HAHA! _|_ ok fuck exams. i can't wait for it to end.

damn

I missed school today. Mum's not here and i can't wake up on my own like this. Someone be my alarm clock by calling? HAHA, i sleep like a pig. I swear I didn't even hear the alarm ringing. Ugh!

Exam's this Friday. Enjoyed myself too much during the weekends. Gotta suffer now =/

I miss Mumsy already :(

bounty hunter / karaoke

Pictures only:

BOUNTY HUNTER, 2nd May























KARAOKE, 3RD MAY



Sorry, mate steam =/